Julianna May

You were the hardest, and worst year of my life. You started off so promising; I was engaged to a man I thought was my whole world, I was in California, I had a good job, a wonderful adopted family in North Carolina, but, mostly, I was the happiest I had been in a very long time.

Then, you took a turn for the worse. My world turned to ashes as the man I loved, turned to love someone else. Friends I thought I could trust stabbed me in the back — in the most cliche sense of the statement. For months on end, you covered me in the darkest storm clouds ever to follow me around as step after step came new hardships and disappointments.

2017, you were the worst year of my life and I didn’t expect to make it out of you alive. Everyday was a struggle for life and new breath. Every cell in me wanted to die. Why I didn’t die, I have no idea. For weeks on end, not eating or drinking, zoning out while driving and almost crashing numerous times, I should have died. But I didn’t.

2017, I grew so much thanks to you. The storm clouds that followed me around taught me to appreciate the sun. The people I thought were friends, were replaced by people I know will not treat me the way they did. And, the man I thought was my world, allowed me to become my own world.

I learned never to put my worth in someone who could look me in the eyes and tell me I’m not good enough. My worth stems from me, and from my creator. My worth is not determined by a fool-hardy boy who says he loves me. My worth is centered in me; and I am enough.

So, 2017, while I hate you, I am thankful for you. You grew and shaped me. And 2018 can only bring more growth, self-worth, and self-discovery.

Thank you to my friends, family, and wonderful God, for helping me out of this year alive. I owe you my life. And, thank you, 2017, for everything you brought me.

Hello, 2018.